Crapshack Devotees — meet the Craptruck. It’s stuck in Four-Low, and it takes a lot of duct tape to hold up the rust where the wheel wells once were. So it won’t exactly be used as our police chase vehicle.

But it runs! It starts right up and purrs like two thousand cats in simultaneous heat. And even better: it’s got an amazing extended cab with a bench seat, and the No Bullshit row of lights across the top, and it will be perfect for hauling crap up and down the logging trails. Plus, it’ll make for fine guest accommodations until the Crap GuestHouse is built. I’m only barely kidding– this beast is ROOMY. Bring your whole family. Then after a cozy night of sleep we’ll invite Wayne over for breakfast and thank him for the Craptruck.

What this photograph doesn’t reveal is that the Craptruck has not one, but TWO gas tanks, one of which leaks and is duct taped closed. I’m guessing that both of them are always thirsty.

Distance traveled: about three miles at a Four-Low snail’s pace.

How it got here: uh, in Four-Low, snail’s pace… while paranoiacally on the lookout for cops.