The Crapshack is not presently planned as the most handicapped accessible place on the planet. To put it more accurately, the Crapshack will be positioned atop an impressive cliff (OUR cliff), and while scaling it outright won’t be necessary for reaching the Crapshack, it’s going to be a challenge for any but the ablest of bodies.

And our bodies are not getting any younger or abler here.

So we have this big pile of stair treads, unconsciously donated by a local manufacturer of alternative energy solutions, by proxy of a huge faceless corporation who makes things like airplanes and trains and nefarious many-million-dollar defense contracts. Which is a generous way of saying: these were rescued from a dumpstered fate.

So we’re going to put some steps around the cliff, a nice little unobtrusive walkway, and slap these on top of them so your clumsy asses don’t fall and sue us when you come for a visit. They’re the color and style I expect from institutions of the Cuckoos Nest variety. Appropriate. Nice.

How it got here: I’m not sure, but by my reckoning, this crap has had at least four residences since its acquisition. The photo doesn’t do justice to how heavy they are, and the last time we moved, I may have whined just a smidge about how much heavy crap Scott has amassed, and why-the-hell-do-we-continue-to-tote-this-shit-from-one-pile-on-one-porch-to-another-pile-on-another-porch and other little spats of domestic senility. And while I’m very glad now that we can use them, and I should be shamed at confessing the whining, I’ll be mighty happy not to have to touch them again.

Distance traveled: several hundred miles from place to place. Plus several tens of feet in my arms from storage facility to storage facility, which deserves mentioning again.

MONDAY STRIPTEASE

Here’s a peek at our cliffside, or part of it. The shack’s going to be up there, on the other side. The steps will go around the far side. I can’t describe it here. You’ll have to come up and see.