We’re Stacey and Scott, a (moderately) bright, (very) surly, (not-so) young couple of tools who want to build a shack from your crap.
Maybe you’ve heard of us? You might know us by names that probably shouldn’t be repeated here. We know about that.
We recently went out and bought twenty acres of land in the middle of the woods in New England. It’s a hell of a place, there are cliffs involved, and there will soon be ziplines and treehouses, and that’s all really okay with us. We’re fairly intrepid, as far as those things go.
We bought the land with cash — essentially all the cash we had — which means we could buy a bunch of stuff to build a shack, if only lint were a valid unit of currency (and at the rate things are going, it may be soon… who knows). I mean, we do some pretty dumb things, but we’re not stupid enough to go out and get a mortgage, and we’re not going to go to the banks for ANYTHING. And I mean no offense if you’ve just run out and got yourself a mortgage of your very own, or work at the bank, or whatever. It’s just not our bag of chips, you know?
But here’s something interesting: as soon as we started to tell people of our intention to build a little shack on this land, people started offering us their crap. People want to give us building materials they didn’t need, windows, an electric meter socket. Good crap. Mostly crap we hadn’t thought about. All crap we need. And then it struck us that you probably have some crap too, or know someone who does. So, about that crap you’ve got. Can we have it?
If you need a sweet and gloopy way to look at it, something more meaningful than a couple of strangers who want your valuable crap, here are a few thoughts. Think about possible personal cosmic connections resulting from us living in your crap. Think about the fact that there’s nothing greener than reusing the crap that already exists on the planet (unless those materials are, say, methane generators. Or a self-propagating coal slush. You can keep that shit to yourselves). Think about the fact that you finally have a way to approach your neighbor. You know, the neighbor with the ugly-assed windows that he’ll never install leaning up against his garage, the windows that are lowering your property value and hurting your emotions? We want that crap. Talk to your neighbor.
When we collect enough crap, we’ll build a little shack. Scott can build just about anything, so it’s sure to be a fine piece. Stacey’s sort of a dupe when it comes to hammers and things, but it’s sometimes awfully charming to watch her try, or so she thinks. We’ll of course update this web site with our progress, both in the Crap Collection and Crap Assembly phases of The Crapshack project.
Maybe it’ll even be worth reading. And at the end of the day, you can come and admire the shack your crap helped build. And we’ll probably break out the hotdogs and weenie sticks just for you.
